Dear IPhone

Dear IPhone,

You may do a zillion things but you will not lure me into purchasing you. I cant afford to spend 600 dollars every time a new gadget comes out. People buy you for a status symbol knowing you will be obsolete in only a few months. You are all the rage right now but like a celebrity you too shall go downhill.

Love

Esperanza

Dear WholeFoods

Why must your organic food be so expensive? I spend about a hundred dollars every time I enter your inviting doors. First you nail me with the fresh flowers that look so pretty. You then proceed to entice me with your huge collection of nine dollar bottles of wine. Is your food really that much better than the regular grocery store? Why must your apples look so shiny? I find it offensive that eating healthy is so expensive.

Thanks

Esperanza

Dear Saturday Morning

Why must you be so elusive? I can barely wake up to meet you. Instead I always wake up just in time for the afternoon. I feel like I have wasted my day when I miss out on you.




Sincerely
Esperanza

Dear McDonalds

Dear McDonald's,

There was a rumor that you were going to start serving breakfast all day long. Was this simply a lie to make me feel better about life? I like to sleep late and find it inconvenient to wake up before 11am to get your sausage biscuits with cheese. I demand a sausage biscuit at 10pm!!! You are doing your customers a great disservice by limiting the breakfast to breakfast time.


Yours Forever,
Esperanza

Dear Comcast

I called you because my OnDemand was not working. A message popped up my screen with your phone number and an error message. After calling you and allowing you to remotely fix my OnDemand I have no cable at all. I am worse off then I was before I called you because now my box and tv look frozen. Even though you told me you would give me a discount on my bill I dont feel any better about your service. Shame on your cable and internet that refuses to consistently work.



Sincerely
Esperanza

Dear JCrew

Dear JCrew,

Thanks for the catalogs you send consistently to my home. I enjoy looking over your subpar clothing line whenever I have nothing better to do. Some of your clothes are actually cute but not many. You should refrain from placing pictures of lobsters on clothes because its tacky. Does the girl modeling the bathing suit really need to have a cashmere hoody on? I dont think anyone will wear cashmere to the beach. When I finally decide I want to spend 32 dollars on a 12 tank top I will actually order from you. Until then I will browse your sell sections for sub par goodies.

Love,

Esperanza